Mindful vs. Spiritful

Jaz is so sweet. We visited my mom Wednesday and today and she is just so lovely! She always says she doesn't want to go but as she walks in and is greeted with a lots of "she's so beautiful"s or "she is so precious" she warms up pretty fast. I don't know what I'd do without her. Mami remains her smiley amazing self. I was talking to my twin brother tonight and as I was speaking I realized that as much as my mom constant smiles confuse me, they also give me a tremendous amount of peace. It is by God's grace that my mom is no longer affected by this world. She is living proof that when you give yourself to God, nothing can touch you. This may sound like a cop out to some or like some coping mechanism for myself but...well...it is NOT. It's the truth. I realize that my moms mind is "gone" in many ways but the fact that she can say "Hi Mija!" when she sees me or that she responds to Jasmine's cuteness with a smile and an attempted hug or that she see me reach for her and she reaches back or that she can pick up a fork and feed herself or that she laughs when others laugh or that she can say "I love you too"...that tells me that she is still in there somewhere. Inside that cute little body there is a sweet soul - one that is at peace in any surroundings. My mom lived such a selfless and caring life and I know her prayers were unlike any I'd ever heard before. I know this because I prayed with her many times. I know what her prayers were like. Often she prayed that God would relieve the suffering of her family members and lay it on her instead. She felt deep pain for those she loved. My mom was a teacher for 25+ years and a principal for 3. I was always amazed at the age range of the people who would approach her while we were out and about in Amarillo (our hometown) and say "Hi Mrs. Tinajero!" and she'd say "Hi (whatever their name happened to be)! How are you?" They would chat a while and as they walked away she would tell me what year they were in her classroom. She taught the children of her earlier students - she probably even taught some grandchildren (you know how small towns can be...). She was incredibly active in our church and was very generous to everyone - including strangers. I remember once when a homeless woman approached her at a Popeye's for money to feed her children. My mom started to chat with so my impatient teenage self said "Oh Mom, you talk to everybody!!" and went back to the car to wait for her. She went back into the store and came out with at least 3 big bags of food and drinks. I remember thinking - "Wow, you never buy US drinks at fast food places!!" :) My point is, she couldn't turn her back on people who asked her for help. It was an annoyance to my brothers and me when we were younger. When we moved away, she must have felt so free to just help everyone!! She visited nursing homes too. I remember she talked me into joining her once (not sure how) and I was scared to death. Wow, funny to think of that now... I remember thinking how kind she was - how incredibly patient. I also thought "why would anyone want to do this? She doesn't know anyone here!" I figured when people get older they just decide to do nicer things. I don't think that anymore. She also visited women in prison. I was in college when she did this and I remember her telling me about 2 of the girls that she really felt sorry for. She always felt sorry for people. She had an unlimited amount of compassion - even for people that I felt didn't deserve it. My point is, I believe with all my heart now that my mom's "sickness" is far more than that. Our earthly explanation of what is happening to her is sad and tragic - the spiritual reality of it is neither of these. As profoundly as she touched so many people during her mindful life, I believe she will continue to touch even more in her spiritful life. I'm still not sure how - I just know it's happening now...to me , and Jasmine. :)