Mamistad

This is my first entry.  Inspired to start a blog (again) by my precious friend (G), I'll start by saying that I feel like a dam that's holding back a million thoughts, prayers, wishes and tears that have built up over the last 12 years or so, since someone decided to open my diary to the public.  I was disgusted, hurt and sad.  I felt like someone had been peeping through my window - robbing me of my private thoughts, hopes and dreams and then sharing them with others around the water cooler.  I'm finally admitting that my spirit was crushed in a way I never realized until now.  I'm angry that I let someone else have that power over me.  I might as well start trying to get my writing confidence back - one entry at a time.  So much has happened that I feel I've lost track of my life and my self.  The biggest loss has been that of my mother to a rude and heartless disease - Alzheimers.  Our family has changed completely and my life has a gaping whole in it...  She resides in a group home nearby but still, every day I feel shame that she is so far away (or I am so distant) and so alone.  I pray that she is not lonely and I try to remind myself that her spirit has been free and soaring with God for many years now.  This is the one thought that keeps me sane.
God has since restored my faith in miracles however.  The most decent and beautiful man I know is my husband and together, we've been blessed with the sweetest angel ever to walk the planet, our masterpiece...JASMINE. 
Mamistad is the culmination of my life's struggles, wishes and purpose(s).  Pregnant Mamis, beautiful newborns, new Mamis and gorgeous babies and children...I would have never guessed I had such a bright future in the field of BEAUTY.